It's Not My Fault I Can Fly
by TallerThanThou ShorterThanThou
Summary: I'm not insane, I'm not insane-you know, whatever. I give up. I, Haruno Sakura, have fallen for that FINE hunk of meat no one's supposed to love. Well, DAMN. Yeah. I'll shut up now.
1. It Started With The Resident Idiot

It started with the resident idiot. You know, the one that always wears orange (gosh, has he been in touch at all with fashion?), has an obsession with ramen, and always says 'believe it' at the end of a sentence. The obnoxious blonde we all know and wish we didn't as Naruto Uzumaki.

I'm a normal girl and all. I get good grades, I'm 5'4'' (I give up hopes of ever reaching the model height of Ino), and I drool over cute guys. All in all, I'm just a smart, hormonal teenager attending Konoha High. And because of that, I happen to have a bunch of friends who do not know when to stop texting—yes, Tenten, I am speaking to you. Suck it up. Which means that I am now involved in the highly unsafe task of replying to an urgent text message while attempting not to turn into Sakura jelly (NOT LIKE THAT, PERVERTS) in the flood of traffic. Still, the fact that my new phone caught the light of the sun in such a captivating way made up for it. Oh, it was my Simsung Rogue, my baby, my one true love, the one that throws me unto my bed and makes—okay, not that extreme. My fingers flew across the glossy black keyboard as a car hurtled towards me.

You'd think you were doomed, right? Me too. So I screamed like I had…well, like I had a SUV rushing towards me at eighty miles an hour. Crossing my arms over my head as a weak defense, I prayed it would serve off course. Of course, it did not. Instead, it remained on an even straighter route towards Haruno Sakura's death, if possible. Forcing my eyes open, I told myself that if I died, I might as well see a real car crash in action. Instead, something orange flashed across my field of vision, and I was swept up into the muscular arms of Uzumaki Naruto. Romantic? Why yes. Comfy? Totally. Smelly with the sweat of a potential super hero and a delusional Sakura who was suffering the effects of barely avoiding a painful death? You betcha.

"WHAT THE HELL, NARUTO?" I screamed as soon as I returned to my senses. I looked down, which turned out to be a big mistake. The ground seemed so small, I suddenly felt like throwing up. Besides, that wasn't exactly how I intended to thank my savior. Now, if only he was more dark, with pale skin and obsidian eyes. Didn't you know? Guys like Naruto are great best friends. Emo guys who are the quiet, strong type are so in. Double bonus if they make you sing Taylor Swift songs. Oh my god, I've watched too many movies. But anyways, he set me down.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan," he said, laughing nervously, "it's a long story, and I have to ask the Jiji if I can tell it to you." Briefly, I wondered who this 'jiji' was. That is, I did until I realized that Naruto could fly. They boy could fucking _fly_. As if that wasn't enough, he was wearing an orange battle suit complete with a pouch of shuriken and kunai. The next thing he'll tell me would be that he actually has ninja blood in him from a powerful clan like…Namikaze—you know, the ones that could control chakra beasts. Then he'd tell me he can control the Kyuubi, the most powerful of them all. Tch, as if.

"I'm actually a pureblood descendant of the Namikaze clan that can control chakra beasts. I control the Kyuubi. He's actually surprisingly nice once you feed him a few hamburgers," Naruto informed me. It was then that my brain decided (I totally agree) that I simply could not handle any more information without self destructing. So I blacked out.


	2. The So Called JiJi Now Thinks I'm Insane

I opened my eyes hesitantly. I mean, in the past twelve hours, I became aware of the existence of ninjas and Narutos flying. Wouldn't you be a bit on the cautious side as well? An alarming sight greeted my eyes. I appeared to be in the middle of a forest, which was also a training ground. People that I assumed were ninjas were running around, sparring, some occasionally called away on a 'mission'.

"Sakura-chan, you're awake!" Naruto called in the middle of sparring with…what the hell, Kiba? Taking advantage of his diverted attention, Kiba shouted something about 'human beast clones' and charged. Too shocked to yell out a warning, I could only watch as Naruto was pummeled. And then he poofed in a cloud of smoke, and kicked Kiba on the head. Shuriken whizzed by my ears as I sped towards the ongoing spar.

"Would someone mind explaining what the fuck is going on?" I asked. No one listened, too wrapped up in their fights. My eyes twitched. On instinct, I punched at the blur that was Naruto and kicked at the one that was Kiba, steering clear of Akamaru. Both of the aforementioned idiots charged with testosterone dropped to the ground, nursing their injuries.

"Ow, Sakura-chan, I didn't think you'd catch on that fast," Kiba groaned. Naruto nodded in agreement besides him.

"Seriously, we're happy and all you get this crap, but did you _have_ to mix chakra in?" Naruto added. The only thing I could do was stare blindly. How the hell did I use chakra? Sensing my puzzlement, Tenten pulled out a diagram. Wait a second…

"WHAT THE FUCK, TENTEN?" I shouted. Don't tell me she's another ninja, I begged Inner. Shut up and suck it up, Inner replied. My eyes automatically searched her for any clues leading to ninja-ism. I found none. Heaving a sigh in relief, I finally noticed that she was standing on a branch. That in itself was perfectly normal, as Tenten loved climbing trees, and had uncommonly good balance. What was wrong was the fact that she was standing on the branch with only her feet, _upside down_. Now, that just cues you something was up.

Pausing in unrolling the scroll, Tenten glanced at me, worried. I waved to her to go on. After all, better late than never, though I do believe I owe those so called 'best friends' of mine a serious beating.

"Chakra is the mixture of stamina and core energy…" she droned. Surprisingly, I found I already knew all of it. Okay, now I'm really freaked out.

"Now try to walk up this tree using Chakra," Tenten instructed. And so I did. And succeeded on the first try. Naruto stared at me like I was a Martian.

"Woah, how did you do that? It took me four hours to get!"

"Or is it the fact that you utterly lack self control?" I muttered. Unfortunately for me, Naruto had extremely good ears. He turned to an emo corner that appeared out of nowhere and sulked. I almost felt guilty. That is, I almost felt guilty until I remembered the whole ninja society thing he was concealing from me.

"We should probably bring her to see the Jiji," Naruto said, coming out of his temporary emo state. Ino stopped her spar with Shikamaru…(INO AND SHIKAMARU TOO) and slapped Naruto across the face.

"Don't call him that, Fishcake! Have some respect for a dude that could kill you in one second!" she screamed. Stuttering indignantly, Naruto dragged me by my arm towards a tall tower that stood far above the trees of the forest. I was too numb to question why I'd never heard a tower inside this forest before. I'd probably get an answer like 'Ninjutsu that can seal the vision' or something. There's only so much creepiness my brain can handle in one day. Before I knew it, we'd arrived.

"Jiji! Sakura Haruno is here!" he called. The odd looking hat that sat on the desk moved and revealed a snoring old man. That was 'jiji'? The one Ino was so afraid of (it takes a lot to scare Ino)?

Just as I was questioning whether or not my dear best friend was completely sane, the old man woke up.

"Sakura-san, I'm told that you have some powers," he said, because apparently, he could listen in to conversations in his sleep. Nervously, I wrung my hands as I struggled to find an answer.

"Oh, um, but I-"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER, JIJI! SHE GOT THE HANG OF CHAKRA EVEN QUICKER THAN HINATA!" Naruto shouted energetically, as he wasn't the type to miss sneaking his secret crush into a shouting match. It was quite pathetic how the two skirted around each other, blind to the other's affections. Wait…Hinata…chakra?

"OH MY GOD, EVEN _HINATA_ KNEW BEFORE ME?" I screamed. There was a long pause.

"Can you repeat that, Sakura-chan? I think a few people 1000 km away didn't hear it," Naruto winced, holding his ears. I ignored him in favor of banging my head against the wall. Great. First day here, and the 'jiji' or leader, judging by his position, probably thought I'm insane and should be in an asylum.


	3. So Now I'm on This Mission Thing

The so called Jiji put me on a mission with Neji (WHAT THE FUCK) as the leader. It's a five ninja rescue mission to save someone named Sasuke Uchiha from Orochimaru. Though, from what I heard, it sounds more like 'force Sasuke Uchiha to depart from someone who is probably his beloved sensei'. Of course, I didn't say that, since Naruto and the others seemed either pissed off about him betraying everyone, or hurt by his lack of comradeship. Well, whoever he was, he'd get a beating from Sakura, because she is a hella pissed right now from everything being kept from her.

Two hours later, I'm running so fast I seem to be flying, and trying desperately not to look down because I just _knew_ I'd be sick. You see, ninjas are too cool to stick to roads. No—they jumped from tree to tree like Jane and Tarzan. In my mind, I had a mental image of Neji dressed as Tarzan with Lee in his arms, hanging from a vine like a monkey. Ladida~! Jane and Tarzan and their merry band of ninja troupers!

"S-sakura-chan looks mad," Naruto asked nervously. Forcing the twitching of my eyebrows to stop, I glared at my best friend—who I'm not really sure is my best friend, because he explained that sometimes, when he was busy with missions, he sent _clones_ to hang out with me—and huffed.

"Well of course she does," Neji interjected before I had a chance to open my mouth. Damn you genius Hyuuga who got better grades than me! Damn you!

"Neji," I warned. The hoity-toity Hyuuga ignored me and continued with his speech.

"She just found out that she had potential as a ninja, or more specifically, a medic a month ago. She is now being sent on an A mission. Of course, you can't forget the fact that you…_concealed_ the fact that most of her friends were in this secret society of sorts and—"

A sickening sound followed and Neji was forced to spin around on the branch like a ballerina to keep his balance. Once he regained, it, he focused his pearly white eyes on me. I gulped.

"Neji-kun got a booboo?" Tenten asked, appearing out of nowhere and caressing her boyfriend's punched cheek. What expression appeared next on Neji's face, I'd have liked to eradicate from my memory. Unfortunately, the sporadic twitching of Neji's eyebrows and coupled with the mushy look in eyes stuck in my memory. I HATE YOU TENTEN!

"Er…let's get a move on, shall we?" Shikamaru asked tentatively, cowering under a certain genius's glare. Once again—DAMN YOU HYUUGA!

In Camp Ninja (for that was what it had been affectionately dubbed), Hinata sneezed.

We remained silent for the rest of the trip and there were no further incidents—I wish. All that I will reveal of the bloody and intestine splattered trip is that Lee shot hearts at me, Naruto complained about no ramen, and Tenten and Neji played tonsil hockey when they thought we weren't looking. After around thirty minutes, I began straining my eyes to see the large cave entrance we had been briefed about. Oh please, I begged. Even if this Sasuke's a total gag, just please let me escape from this torture!

Unfortunately (how many times had I been saying that?), life had other plans for me. As they put it—out of the skillet and into the fire.

A/N: ! Finally updated!


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